Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Diary Entries from Quest: Entry One

Mesa decided mesa wants to show yousa guys mesa diary entries from mesa quest to wisen mesa up. So every nightsa mesa going to post onesa entry.

Entry One(sa)
January 20
Location: Mos Eisley Marriot

Dear diary,
Since da village back homesa sponsored mesa trip, mesa got a nicesa room in the Marriott. Mesa decided to look around the townsa, study da culturesa, etc. So once mesa had mesa room setup, mesa went outsidesa. First offsa, if you do not knowsa, Tatooine supa hot. Even in Januarysa. So mesa went straight to da pharamacysa. Da first problem wit da pharmacy is da all of the cashiersa are Jawas. All JawaJuice's cousinsa. So mesa got to da sunblock section, get 2 bottlesa, and go to da cash registersa. I saysa "I wantsa to buy dis".

"Cooupani!?"
"No, no coupansa, sunblock!"
"Ootini discout card! Dink ootoni!"
"No, mesa no have discout cardsa."
"Halloweeni candee? 50 percenti savee!"
"NO. Mesa NO WANT discount on mesa halloween candysa. MESA WANT SUNSCREEN."
"Oooooooooh. Heheetehee. You in late teens? Acne-pads!"
"Nosa, SUNSCREEN! No 'late teens'."
"Golean? You skinny!"
"No. Sunscreen. SUNSCREEN. SUNSCREEN!"
By this timesa a fewsa people were watchingsa. They weresa tourist, mesa thinks. They think mesa a tourist attractionsa. Theysa takes out der cameras, and flashy flashy! Mesa very angry nowsa.
"Oh. Okay. Sunscreen. That'll be 56 credits."
"Oh, so NOWSA yousa speak english."
"Yeah. Sorry about that. But the tourist department pays us to speak like that. Apparently off-planet visitors find it 'cute'. I don't think they would find it 'cute' if they found out that we were really cursing them out when we say all of those weird words."
"Oh, mesa understand nowsa. Heresa da credits."
"Thanks. Have a nice day"
"You toosa".

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