Diary Entries From Quest: Entry Two

Entry Two (sa)
January 21
Tatooine Airlines Airplane

Dear Diary,
Listen to dis. Mesa board da planesa right? So wesa take off, and everythingsa fine. But den mesa start to feel hungry. So mesa ask a flight attendant if mesa could get a snack. Da flight attendant saidsa "Sure". So shesa come back with peanuts. Mesa say thank yousa, and mesa open da peanuts. Next to mesa, der is a wookie. Hesa start coughing. Mesa shrug and startsa eating. Hesa start coughing up relaly badsa. Mesa ask himsa if hesa okay. Hesa roars, sayingsa "yes". So he stops, mesa startsa eating again. Den, 5 minutes later, hesa suddenly coughsa HUGE hairballsa. Da hairball was wet and stickysa, and it gotsa on mesa clothes! On mesa FINE suit!

So it turnsa out he was allergicsa to peanuts. And now hesa suing ME becausesa mesa ordered peanuts and atesa dem infront of him.

He mustsa be from New York.

Diary Entries from Quest: Entry One

Mesa decided mesa wants to show yousa guys mesa diary entries from mesa quest to wisen mesa up. So every nightsa mesa going to post onesa entry.

Entry One(sa)
January 20
Location: Mos Eisley Marriot

Dear diary,
Since da village back homesa sponsored mesa trip, mesa got a nicesa room in the Marriott. Mesa decided to look around the townsa, study da culturesa, etc. So once mesa had mesa room setup, mesa went outsidesa. First offsa, if you do not knowsa, Tatooine supa hot. Even in Januarysa. So mesa went straight to da pharamacysa. Da first problem wit da pharmacy is da all of the cashiersa are Jawas. All JawaJuice's cousinsa. So mesa got to da sunblock section, get 2 bottlesa, and go to da cash registersa. I saysa "I wantsa to buy dis".

"Cooupani!?"
"No, no coupansa, sunblock!"
"Ootini discout card! Dink ootoni!"
"No, mesa no have discout cardsa."
"Halloweeni candee? 50 percenti savee!"
"NO. Mesa NO WANT discount on mesa halloween candysa. MESA WANT SUNSCREEN."
"Oooooooooh. Heheetehee. You in late teens? Acne-pads!"
"Nosa, SUNSCREEN! No 'late teens'."
"Golean? You skinny!"
"No. Sunscreen. SUNSCREEN. SUNSCREEN!"
By this timesa a fewsa people were watchingsa. They weresa tourist, mesa thinks. They think mesa a tourist attractionsa. Theysa takes out der cameras, and flashy flashy! Mesa very angry nowsa.
"Oh. Okay. Sunscreen. That'll be 56 credits."
"Oh, so NOWSA yousa speak english."
"Yeah. Sorry about that. But the tourist department pays us to speak like that. Apparently off-planet visitors find it 'cute'. I don't think they would find it 'cute' if they found out that we were really cursing them out when we say all of those weird words."
"Oh, mesa understand nowsa. Heresa da credits."
"Thanks. Have a nice day"
"You toosa".

Halloween is scarysa on Naboo

Halloween is supa scarysa on Halloweensa. Very verysa scary.

Onesa gungan dressed upsa as "Chlorine" in da swamp. Another dressed up as "Subulba" (mesa got supa scared at dat onesa). Der was alsoa a kid dressed upsa as "invasive aquatic plants". Hesa nearly got kickedsa out of the swampsa!

What happenedsa at yoursa placesa?

Mesa backsa and mad

Discriminationsa. I knowsa like da discrimnation against da gungans. Mesa backsa from mesa quest. Mesa went from Tatooine to Dathomir to wisen mesa up. And mesa no like itsa. All of da peoplesa hatesa mesa! They say "Yousa Gungan, nosa come dis resturant!" when mesa hungry. So mesa hadsa to find a pondsa to eat from. Mesa sad. Dis no good. So mesa decidesa wesa need to stop this.

I needsa help from anyonesa possible. mesa starting a "Stop The Racism Against Gungs" movementsa, or "STRAG"

Okay, so mesa beggining mesa quest.

Helooooooooooosa! Mesa begginning mesa quest! Mesa todaysa pack mesa bags, got on mesa speeder, and went to the outfitters storesa! Der mesa got a bombad mini-boomer-gun, a paramilitary cloak, and gogglesa. Mesa den goe to Tatooine where mesa gonna raise an army to destroysa the factory in mesa village. Remembersa! Soooooooooo anywaysa whe mesa got to Tatooine, via Galactic Shuttle Agency (very very rudesa customer service people) mesa got tosa Tatooine. Mos Eisley. So mesa walk up to a bombad-lookingsa Human withsa a big gun a mesa say "Yo, whats upsa dawg!?" (dats how dey speak der) and hesa go "Shut up," Mesa tink Mesa need to practice being meeeeaaaan. So mesa take mesa boomer-gun and shoot him. den mesa turn to see 3 bombad policemen. Blech. Mesa shoot dem too. Den mesa knock someone off dersa speeder, and take da speeder. Heheheheee, mesa no longer Mr. Nice Gungan. So now da scene looksa like disa (a photo that mesa stole fromsa a dude taking a picturesa at thatsa second. Heresa it is:

Mesa band's first music videosa!

Mesa insa a rock band calledsa "Jar Jar and da Bombads" dat mesa started, and yesterday, wesa made oursa first music videosa. The song isa called "Hangin by the Swamp". Anywaysa, before mesa show dis to yousa, mesa want to say dat dis hasa no sound, because wesa not completely done yetsa. But it willsa have sound soon:

http://img244.imageshack.us/my.php?image=gungan2jz.swf

Enjoysa

-Jar Jar

Obi-Wan's Time Machine

Wow, disa is cool. Mesa in da future! See da date of dis post! Mesa in da future! Mesa took Obi's time machine and mesa press buton, and now mesa am watching a basketballsa gamesa between the Gungans and the Naboo atsa Swamp Stadium! And mesa posting withsa a laptop thatsa comes outsa 2 weeksa from when you guysa are! Dis is so cool! By the waysa, Podrace Championship was wonsa bysa Hoog Ba, if yousa want to makesa a betsa onsa dat. ;)
Anywaysa, mesa found out mesa gonna crash tomorrow insa you guys time so mesa not gonna go driving tomorrowsa. Um...Whatsa elsesa, A new model lightsabersa is comin out, so Yoda, start savingsa up. Umsa, uh-oh, heresa come security. Better lea-